Saturday, February 20, 2010


Mike told me on the way home tonight from Yucca that he is thinking about extending to go to Afganistan with the guys in October. Im always going to stand behind him no matter what his choice is, but deep down i really dont want him to go to that dangerous place. I know he is one of the best in his MOS and he'll do fine over there. But in the back of my mind im thinking what iff... and that scares me the most. I married him knowing this is the life we live. As much as it hurts me to agree to this, im very proud of him for wanting to go with the guys and make sure they all come home safely. I am strong enough for this life, but are our kids going to understand why daddys gone? He's got a really tough choice to make. To get out in October, or stay in and go to Afganistan. Which would most likely lead to re-enlisting another 4 years. && we both know that seals the deal to being a lifer. im ok with that, i guess. Ultimately, im nervous yet excited to see which path we take. Where its going to lead us. Its scary not knowing whats next. Im very blessed to have such an amazing man as the father of my children standing next to me who wants to step up and be everything he can be; what he's willing to sacrafice to take care of our family. I love him with all my heart. i know he'll make the right decision, & we'll overcome whatever obstical stands in front of us.

Poem of the day:
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

-Robert Frost
(mikes favorite)


Chynna said...

I'm right there with you, girlie! Josh wants to go too, for the same reason. And I am sooo proud of him for wanting to help his guys but at the same time I'm like WHAT ABOUT US, our daughters only grow up ONCE ya know! :( I'm with him either way, God will take care of us.

Secret's safe with me! I'm here for ya!

kaitlencleveland said...

Thanks. its hard to agree to something, not knowing what the outcome is. This choice he's making is life changing. Idk what way id want us to go. Its his decision in the end, so im trying not to stress about it. :[

Anonymous said...

Why is he thinking about extending his contract? There is always pros and cons to it and Im sure he will make the right decision. It will be life changing but scary at the same time. I dunno what I would do.

kaitlencleveland said...

who are you anonymous??

He's thinking about it for many reasons. There's millions of pros and cons to getting out and that goes for staying in too. So it just depends on what we want for our future.

Anonymous said...

its jamie i dont have one so it wouldnt let me do anything except anonymous lol...are you scared of what he might do? what do you want him to do

kaitlencleveland said...

I am scared shitless. but only because i dont know what i want him to do. I understand why he wants to go overseas, its a logical choice. But i also want to get out cuz i dont want him to deploy. But the economy is in no shape to just go out there and try to start over. But if we stay in, he deploys and misses out on his kids growing up for 7 months. Or forever. As much as i dont want to say that. its reality. We cant ignore that it can happen. But we'll be ok. God has given us this life, and our love is strong. We can get thru whatever his final decision is.

Anonymous said...

you are so strong and thats great he is a very lucky guy to have a wife like you and vice versa you guys were like meant for each other

kaitlencleveland said...

If this is the Jamie i think it is, then your going to find the strength when your husband has to fight for his country.

Anonymous said...

yes it is the jamie your thinking of. I know he was talking about once we get settled and he gets to know his job more he was thinking about volunteering its scary to even think about it and we havent even been stationed yet

kaitlencleveland said...

Only time will tell. And it is scary, but he joined to serve. But i wouldnt volunteer! thats nutts.